I'm one of those people that when I want something I buy it. No problem making decisions. Just do it. Or so I thought.
Last Saturday, I'm browsing for purses when this gorgeous red number grabs my attention. Not bright red, but a soft dark red by Franco Sarto with big silver loops on each side. Oh...it's just so me.
And then I hear it. "You can't get a red bag. It's impractical. YOU always carry a black bag, so it goes with everything and you only need one bag." So I put up the red bag and go searching for a cute black one. And I find a black one just like the red one that I LOVE. But it doesn't thrill me like the red one did. I don't see myself on the red carpet with the black one. I'm not at all the cool Hollywood parties with the black one. But I've gotta have a black one, because frankly, red just doesn't go with everything. A girl has to be practical.
So, I put the black one in my cart. Ugh. And I think..."Here I am again, another season with a practical, though quite cute, black purse." And I'm not going to do it. I want to change and be the girl that carries the beautiful red purse. Now I'm racing back to find the red purse of my dreams. Hoping that the other woman shopping for purses hasn't snatched it. And she hadn't. It's mine. MINE, MINE, MINE.
Now, I still have to have a black bag, so I go practical and find a fairly cheap, but still hip black one. So, when I HAVE to give up the red one, I have a fall-back black bag. And I leave the store happy and immediately throw my essentials into my new hipper than hip purse.
And I told you that to tell you this...I wonder if that's what happens in my mother's head. I wonder if she goes, "Oh, I LOVE that ________!!!" and then she hears her mother's voice telling her to be practical and careful not to get something she might hate in six months. I wonder if she ever lets herself go and gets the red purse?
Yesterday we went to pick out granite together for her new kitchen. We took a sample of something we liked and the guy showed us three similar ones. We picked two of those and looked at 10 more slabs that she might be interested in. Nope, she still liked the first two. One is expensive and one isn't so bad. I hope she goes for the expensive one. It's beautiful and I know she likes it better. And frankly, she's worth it. She deserves to have something that every time she sees it, she says, "WOW" in her own mind.
Do we all have our mother's voices in our heads? Or our mother's mothers? How far back does that mental voice go? Is a piece of each past mother passed down through each mother to their children? I wonder how my great great great grandmother would have responded to my red purse? Would she have bought it? Or would it have been too much of a reach for her?
I wonder.
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3 comments:
I hear my mother's voice in my head all the time. I hate it sometimes. I hate that I want to do one thing and something pulls me to go the other way. I know what you mean about the red purse, too. You must have practical. Something that goes with everything. And I kind of thought that way too. I didn't want to look like I didn't "match".
But then....my friend Lisa went to Florence and bought me this GORGEOUS red leather purse. I use it all the time. With everything. I will show you when I see you, which will be very soon.
And oh...it's not only your mother's voice that rings in your head, it's people you look up to, want to emulate or just plain like.
A perfect example of that is....I remember when I saw you (just one month into trucking) and I was carrying everything in my backpack, using it as my purse, and you said something along the lines of "Oh God, no. You can't possibly be fabulous while carrying that blue backpack." I know that's not verbatim, but every SINGLE time I went to look at new bags (prior to receiving the red purse as a gift), I heard your voice in my head. And I put down the ugly bag.
So see....sometimes it's good to hear voices in your head.
LOL! I hear no voices, there is too much screaming in my real life to hear anything else. So even if they were talking to me they would certainly be wasting their time.
Glad you got the red one!
Why do you have to follow that concept that you need everything to be practical? Why not having something different for a change. Changes are good. You have gotten so accustom of being in your comfortable zone and dare to step out of that zone.
Go ahead, return that black one and get the red one. Who cares if it doesn't go with anything you had decided in your mind that you wanted to be different for a change. Then by golly this is the first step.
Once you get use to stepping out of that comfort zone you will find you like changes.
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