Living in the Moment

Yes, I'm great at it...living in the moment. Right here, right now, enjoying myself. And I'm just as effortless with the excuses. Most recently, my wrist surgery.

I can't use it. I can't bend it. I can't pick up things, so I haven't bothered to keep up with what I'm eating. Makes sense, huh?

Before, when I was in better shape, I lived for the losing. I worked out hard to get that scale to move down. And now, I live for right now. Eat the cake for right now. Watch TV for right now.

It's T.I.M.E.

Looks like a boring death for me

Kinda nice to know I won't be suffocated though. I'd hate that.

You scored as Natural Causes from QuizFarm.com

Your death will be by natural causes, though not by any diseaese, because that is another option on this test. You will probably just silently pass away in the night from old age, and people you love won't realize until the next morning, when you are all purple and cold and icky. So be happy, you won't be murdered.

Natural Causes 80%
Disappear 73%
Posion 53%
Suicide 47%
Stabbed 40%
Gunshot 40%
Bomb 33%
Cut Throat 33%
Drowning 27%
Accident 27%
Disease 20%
Eaten 20%
Suffocated 0%

Even the fruit is looking good...

Today I'm going under the knife to have a ganglion cyst removed from my wrist. Anything that's ganglion isn't staying on this body.

The surgery's not the big deal. It's the abstinance. No food after midnight. No water after 7am. Although I went until 7:30am...I was dryin' up.

And the bad thing is....this place is covered up with food. There's home made fudge, cookies, peanut brittle, chips and salsa, nut mix, honey roasted turkey breast, and two baskets of fresh fruit. It looks like heaven in a basket to me.

Oranges, apples, bananas, tangerines, pears, grapes....give 'em to me!

Ridin' in a $175,000 Hummer

Last night as I was putting off getting on the treadmill until the very last second, an H1 pulls into my driveway. WHO IN THE....I'm thinking as my neighbor zips the window down.

He comes in and has a beer with me and allows me to ask all of the questions that a person driving a $25,000 car asks. SigOth comes in also wondering "Who in the..." and takes a seat. After a few, we need more beer.

Yes, we did. We all pile up into that big thing and hit the road. I'm wondering where my adult sensibilities are? I only wondered those things like, 'What if we get caught?" and "What if we have a wreck?" for a split second and decide to let loose and enjoy the ride. I have no ID on me, nothing to tell someone who I am.

It was fun. Powerful, even. To have no responsibility when you're usually the one that is sitting in that seat. If we have a wreck, I'll be the girl that wanders off into the woods along the interstate and finds her way home another way.

We made the loop down the pike, off the interstate at the next exit, to the beer store...and then a little diversion to see what this thing can do. Okay, the first thing we did was park on the sidewalk by the liquor store. I laughed out loud. I'm a teenager.

Then he pulls into my family's business center to do God knows what. I said, "Not HERE!" and we go to the next lot up. Did I mention that there's a 4' embankment that we climbed with no effort? Then we did the 60 degree turn. Amazing. The army guys must have a BALL in that thing. It was just like theirs except white with the kids that stole it inside.

I'm such a wild child.

Today, I'm 40 again.

But last night, I was 16!

Old Farmers' Advice:

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

Meanness don't just happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. (Man, I need to learn this one!)

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm, 'cause the colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

What they think of me....

A friend of mine thought it would be lovely to make a scrapbook for me for my 40th birthday. Now, it didn't work out, but here are two of the entries that would have made the book.

It's interesting to see how people think of you. Forty years is a long time to live. These are my two oldest friends. I should have known they would come through with something great. How wonderful it is to have good friends.

From Shauna:
One story in particular I can not think of but when I think of Lynn these things come to mind...

Frozen Chocolate covered bananas...mmm
Apple computer..the.only person I know has one
being followed in her new car around hermitage.."if they hit you DO NOT STOP!!!"
wine festivals in Clarksville
strawberry pancakes
RED RED WINE
RED RED HAIR
Quick to save a runaway friend with no shoes....
and quick to lend a room
punch bowls of something tasty and a bit naughty
Pigs in a blanket
But most of all when I think of Lynn, I feel a sense of warmness rush over me, cause no matter how long it has been or how far and few between our visits...it is like coming home..love you Lynn...bless us all with another 40!!!





From Anne Marie:

One story I remember from our time in school together was: We were in a class on the theories of psychology, taught by the head of the department. He was a rather older man, and very set in his ways.

We were discussing Freud, I think, and someone said something about how anti-woman he seemed to be. The professor got very bothered about that. Lynn spoke up and said, “Yes, I think he’s misogynistic.” The professor just stopped, and stared, and stammered, and finally said, “I think that’s a made-up word!”

We were all stunned! Lynn looked at him, and said, “No, that’s a REAL word, and it means anti-woman. You can look it up in your dictionary. It’s spelled M-I-S-O-G-Y-N-I-S-T-I-C!” He just got red in the face, and changed subjects. We were amazed that the head of the psychology department didn’t know that word or what it meant!

But Lynn stood her ground, and put him in his place. And I think she made an A in that class, too!

Trim Spa, BABEEEEEEEEEEE

This morning, I took two TrimSpa Baby pills. Fact is, in and of themselves, they are big enough to choke a horse. I'm wondering if, with the glass of water that I just downed, these things will swell enough to make me look like a malnourished child with the distended belly.

I've had a Slimfast bar and two of the blonde bombshell pills. I'm feeling quite full right now. Maybe that's the ticket. Just take a pill that expands to fit your belly and go on about your day. Because frankly, I’m not sure that I’m all that into the diet thing.

I know I should be because I’m fat. But that’s not really making it happen for me. I’m not much of a girl that does things because she should. Actually, I’m quite the opposite.

What she deserves...

My mother is redecorating her kitchen. You would think by her telling of how horrible/time-consuming/taxing this has been that we had taken over a small country. It's almost over and it's taken about 6 weeks. It's taken this long because she was born without the part of her brain that makes decisions.

She has no idea how to narrow her choices to three and then pick from those. That's where I come in. I'm not sure that she's loving anything that "we've" picked out lately, but it was necessary that I help her. She would still be wallowing in her own wondering if I didn't.

I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Yesterday we went back to the tile store for the second day in a row. I took her on a preemptive strike the day before just so it wouldn't take so long yesterday. They'll be laying the tile next Tuesday and it will be finished. Thank you, Lord.

My point is that she deserves to have a lovely kitchen and she will have it. I'm happy for her. I just wish she knew how to love what she's getting instead of seeing the negatives. During this past six weeks, people have lost limbs, children, loved ones, homes to fires and yet, she thinks she's had it rough. She can't see the glory of it all.

Her eyes just cannot see.

Putting Somebody First....Who will it be?

I know we've all heard it, but I'm going to go Oprah on you. Mainly because I need to hear it.

Put yourselves first. A healthy you is the best way to take care of everyone else.

Make time for...

Exercise...even if it's just 15 minutes and I'm gonna get my hair all sweaty.
Friends....laughter, serious discussions to solve the world's problems, etc.
Quiet time alone
Shopping
Parents...even though they drive us nuts. They won't always be here to do so.
Planning meals and healthy snacks.
Alcohol....I've made lots of time for this lately.
Artistic endeavors. We all need it. Even if it's coloring with the kids.

I'm the world's worst at putting myself last. I'm going to change that. Me first.

ME. ME. ME!

The Athlete Inside Me...

Well, there is one. It's just hard to see past the fat.

I remember how it *felt* to run back when I was in shape. It was wonderful. Free. Easy. And now, it's just hard. My soul wants to run, but my body's holding me back. Well, my body and my mind. My mind because I'm not controlling what I eat.

I joined the YMCA ( a gift from my mother) around the first of November. I must say that I'm doing remarkably well. I actually jogged a bit yesterday despite my fat ass. Some days I walk for 30 minutes, some days I feel like going for an hour. I'm forcing myself. I have the time. I have no excuses. I have the clothes. And finally, I'm doing it. I guess I should be proud, but I don't want to look this way. I don't want to be hindered by all of this junk in my trunk.

And yet, I eat the junk that places more junk in my trunk. I need to be locked in a fat farm for a year...if not longer. Do they still wire people's mouths shut? That might be the answer. No. Probably not. I'd just run down to Sonic and get a Gingerbread shake. That would slide right through.

Will it be easier after the holidays? Yes. Will it be easy? No. What would make this easy? Does it have to be for me to do it? Why can't I know it's going to be hard and do it anyway? Why, why, why? Perhaps the Nike people are right.