Well, there is one. It's just hard to see past the fat.
I remember how it *felt* to run back when I was in shape. It was wonderful. Free. Easy. And now, it's just hard. My soul wants to run, but my body's holding me back. Well, my body and my mind. My mind because I'm not controlling what I eat.
I joined the YMCA ( a gift from my mother) around the first of November. I must say that I'm doing remarkably well. I actually jogged a bit yesterday despite my fat ass. Some days I walk for 30 minutes, some days I feel like going for an hour. I'm forcing myself. I have the time. I have no excuses. I have the clothes. And finally, I'm doing it. I guess I should be proud, but I don't want to look this way. I don't want to be hindered by all of this junk in my trunk.
And yet, I eat the junk that places more junk in my trunk. I need to be locked in a fat farm for a year...if not longer. Do they still wire people's mouths shut? That might be the answer. No. Probably not. I'd just run down to Sonic and get a Gingerbread shake. That would slide right through.
Will it be easier after the holidays? Yes. Will it be easy? No. What would make this easy? Does it have to be for me to do it? Why can't I know it's going to be hard and do it anyway? Why, why, why? Perhaps the Nike people are right.
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1 comment:
This was a good post for me to read as I'm sitting at my mother's house eating Twinkies and Ring Dings. I can't seem to bring myself to change my ways. But of course, I am aiming for January to start off on the right foot. AGAIN. Want to be my partner?
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