I just ate 10 cookies at 80 calories a piece. My heavens, why do cookies have so many calories? It was a binge. I wasn't in control. I ate all I wanted. And frankly, I could have eaten more of them. Somehow I stopped myself. Damn, they were good.
I ate enough calories in 2 minutes to cover most of my day. Why don't I lose weight? That's why. Because I binge and eat 800 calories on top of everything else I eat. I've just never totalled the calories before. I just ignore that behavior and those calories. Why?
They count. I know they count. I'm nervous. I'm having anxiety attacks....but not too bad at the moment. So why did I eat? Because I wanted something sweet. And there's nothing here but those damn cookies. And they aren't even mine. They were left outside by somebody last Friday and I brought them in. And now, I've eaten half of the box. In one shove, I ate 10 of them. 800 calories.
Now, what should I have done? I should have eaten 3 of the sugar cookies, because I know I'm gonna eat something. I need my fix and until I get past it, I'll need to give in a little...just not a big binge. I know that seems like a management, but I've got to do better until I can figure out why I'm doing this.
I feel better than I have in a long time. I am stressed, but I'm getting better. I'm feeling my feelings and I'm talking to Nikki about them. And I'm writing them in here.
I'm sorry that I just did that to my body. I could go home and work out. Will I? Stay tuned tomorrow to find out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment