Red on the Head

Cruel, Mother Nature is. During the whole Chiffon Margarine debacle, Mother Nature tried to tell me not to mess with her.

At first, I thought it was kinda flat looking because my thryoid is bad and that can affect the health of your hair. Then I got that semi-under control. And still, the hair looks eh.

Recently, my girlfriend told me that my hair is brown.

BROWN??? WTF???

Do not tell me that I suffered.....

• Red on the head, I'd rather be dead

• Red in the Head means Fire in the Bed!!! (not so cool when you're 11)

• The whole redheads have bad temper shit...it's just a buncha fuckin' horseshit!

• Never tanning, always burning (which is STILL a problem)

.....during my childhood to then grow up, be in my prime and suddenly I lose all the red color in my hair.

Yes, I've permed it since I was a teenager. I'm sorry Ma Nature, I didn't know I was doing wrong!

I didn't color it until just a couple of years ago. Never had to.

At a recent gathering of friends, I asked them, "What color is my hair?"

Brown. Strawberry Blonde. Blonde.

HUH?

So Mother Nature, I'm pissed.

Just when it's SEXY to be a redhead, you turn my hair brown. Where's the nearest salon? I a dose of fire!

Not ONLY do I rock...

but I FUCKIN' ROCK!!!!

Get ready for the Tuesday Total on my Weight Watchers week.....

Are ya ready?

ANOTHER 4.2 pounds for a total of 8.6 in two weeks. Yes, it is benefitting me that I'm a big girl and I work out.

(waits for applause and pats on the back)

Thank you very much!

I am proud of myself. I am finally making an effort to take care of me, not just those around me. I prep my breakfast and sit down almost every morning AT THE TABLE and focus on the meal. I'm making an effort to change things up and not eat the same old crap all the tiime. And this week, I'm going to add cardio into the mix.

I hope all of you guys are having a great week!!! I sure am!

The Key

From my last post:
We bought locally made Molasses, Wildflower honey, Lemon Cake, Gingerbread, Turbinado Sugar and Molasses candy. I ate some of all of it and still lost weight. Gotta love Weight Watchers!

And a Princess responded:
"That sounds so nice and the pictures are beautiful....eat some for me..I don't think I could eat all that and lose weight!!"

For me, the key to Weight Watchers is that I can eat whatever I want and still lose weight.

WHATEVER I want. If I want Lemon Cake..I can have Lemon Cake. Homemade Gingerbread? Yes, please.

Unfortunately, I cannot have ALL I want.

I think that's the problem with a lot of folks. We get a loaf of Lemon Cake and eat the whole damn thing. Linda had a slice. I had a slice. I counted my points. And the rest of it is in the freezer for the next time we want some.

I have honey every day for breakfast. It's only 1 point per tablespoon. That's a LOT of honey. I smear it on my 1 point English Muffin. That way I can have what I like. I just can't have a tub of it.

So yes, I did eat ALL of that. But I didn't eat ALL of IT!


P.S. Yes, Kelly...it's a gorgeous place to go. And we'll rent it out for any days you want. But you have to enjoy hiking, biking, four-wheeling, and outdoor stuff, because Jamestown is not a shopper's paradise (unless you like used shoes.)

Jamestown and Muddy Pond, TN

Last Saturday morning, we ventured out to the Minnonite Village of Muddy Pond, TN to do a little shopping and to have one of the fabulous sandwiches that those ladies make. Alas, when we got to the General Store there was a sign stating that they no longer made sandwiches. (hangs head sadly) They made the most wonderful creations. Even if it was only meat, cheese, bread, mayo, lettuce and tomato. It was as if their hands were touched by God's own.

So, being a former Girl Scout (and since they lady behind the counter suggested it)...I bought everything and made us one on the back of the car. Spread my little plastic baggie out and we had a car picnic!

Then we went to watch the molassses (or mole asses as my family calls them) being made. They have a huge room where they boil them down after the horses grind the sugar cane into juice.



These are the gorgeous boys doing their job at the Molasses Shop.
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One of the old Mennonite men taking a break outside the steamy molassses boiling room.
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Lovely red tree outside of the lodge.
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Pond down in the hollow by Muddy Pond. Not THE Muddy Pond...just a muddy pond. THE Muddy Pond has a little sign. I guess enough of the dumb city folk asked that they finally put up a sign. Looks more like a mud puddle, but hey...call it a pond if you wanna.
__________________

We bought locally made Molasses, Wildflower honey, Lemon Cake, Gingerbread, Turbinado Sugar and Molasses candy. I ate some of all of it and still lost weight. Gotta love Weight Watchers!

Unavailable

Or so I thought. Last weekend, my Love and I, along with our two dogs went to Jamestown, TN to our family's little cabin in the woods- Pointe View Lodge (www.pointeview.com) -for a little R&R. I told my mom and my best butch where we were going. Now this place is remote. Like 10 minutes off of the paved road remote and 30 minutes outside of a small town. Only one other house on the road and entirely too far to run to in case of horror movie type stuff happening.

We get up there. Jammie up. Watch movies. Eat dinner. Go to bed. Perfect.

My cell phone rings. It was LATE LATE LATE...1:45am. I was so deeply asleep that my Love had to wake me. I fumble in the complete blackness for my phone. Restricted number and I'm too late. Hmmm...probably a wrong number. We lie there for a few minutes trying to go back to dreaming.

The lodge phone rings. Now this number is hard to get. You pretty much have to be a member of the family or a past renter to have it. Hell, I don't even have it. Again, in the blackness I run to the phone all the way in the kitchen.

Hello. Hello? Hello???

Nobody there. Then an odd fast busy signal.

We go through all the possibilities. Nobody has both of these numbers. Must be my parents. Shit, they're old and it can't be good. I call their house. Wake my Daddy up. Nope, everything's fine.

Must be the Best Butch. Call her. Freak HER out since I'm never up past 10pm! Not her either.

No one else knew we were there and so few people have both my cell and the lodge phone number. It's hard for me to believe that there were two wrong numbers on both phones that I'm attached to.

That was Friday night. It's Thursday and no one has called yet to say, "Hey...tried to get ahold of you Saturday morning at 1:45am."

Damn ghosts.

"Gwen Will Have THAT Taken Care Of"

Last night, as we're dining on Pan Seared Tilapia over Rice and White Acorn Squash with Butter and Brown Sugar, the phone rang. It's her mother.

I invited them to come down from Michigan for Thanksgiving.

My Love said they wouldn't come. They are.

My Love said that they would probably stay a couple of days. They're staying from Tuesday until Monday.

During their conversation, I keep hearing over and over, "Gwen will have THAT taken care of."

I am afraid to ask.

Brought to you by the Number 4

Last night was my second Weight Watcher's meeting and my first week's weigh in.

Drum roll please.............

Down 4.4 pounds. YAY ME!!!

Please feel free to praise my will power and strength of character!

I'm waiting.....

:)

Killing Me Softly with Coffee

I'm sitting at the window waiting on our Treat Treats....a SF, NF Cinnamon Dolce (3 WW points, thank you very much) for me and Caramel Macchiato for my Mother. We passed up on the Homemade Pineapple Cake that someone brought to the office. Major victory. I wanted to surprise her (and me!) with a Treat Treat (that's what Trace calls her milk bones.)

Starbucks Girl: "I'm sorry, Did you say three or thirty?"

Lady in Line: "Thirty"

Me, in my head: WHAT???? Thirty? Seriously????

Starbucks Guy reading my mind: "Yeah, she likes almost a cup of sugar in her coffee."

I watch Starbucks Guy pour and pour and pour and pour sugar in to a cup.

Me, outloud to Starbucks Guy as he hands me my SF NF Treat Treat: "Can I stay and see the 30 sugars person?"

Starbucks Guy: "She comes here regularly and we have an 'Always say YES' policy."

Well, I reckon they do.

Drink This In Remembrance of Me

Recently, the little girl in my life was baptised. She's almost 7.

I saw her this week and she tells me that she's going to get to drink the grape juice and eat the cracker at church. But not everybody gets to drink it. You can't until you get baptised. Then you can. But her brother can't. Yet. He gets baptised on Sunday. Then he can eat the cracker, too. And have some grape juice with it. You have to go up front to do it. Then you get to go back to your seat. But not everybody gets too. It's special.

Her: It's supposed to help your blood or something.

Me: Oh really? (quizzical look)

Her: Um hmmm.

I'm glad to know she's got a handle on the whole communion thing. Because frankly, it confuses me.

There is a God

"The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE."

Thank you, Lord. He obviously knew what he was doing with THAT one! (wink)

A Dying Breed

Am I the only 42 year old woman on the planet that still calls her father "Daddy?"

Recently, some friends of mine were appalled. I was confused. Is there a point when you change what you call him?

FYI: there are over 200,000 images for Daddy on photobucket.com. So SOMEBODY's calling their father's Daddy!

Come on...tell me I'm NOT the only one. And of course, I'm in the South!

Back In The Herd

Last night I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. All of us fat girls and a couple of guys sat around and talked about well, food mostly.

Kudos to my girl for curling up on the couch with me and looking at my Weight Watcher book when she could have been watching her favorite shows on the DVR. She paused the TV and we talked a little Weight Watcher. God, I am so lucky to have her by my side!

I am already feeling better. I have a plan. I can see myself at my goal. This should really be easy. Mwahaha-ha-ha. Yeah. Well, it's easy right now, and I'll take that.

Anybody got any supportive words? Say 'em now, say 'em later. I need all I can get!

P.S. It's Tuesday again, which means squats with the powerlifting coach. Prepare for the complaining to commence in approximately 48 hours.

No More Putting It Off

I'm joining Weight Watchers this afternoon. I have a dear friend who is super supportive and emails regularly from across the nation. A partner that ROCKS and loves me as I am or any other way. And a powerlifting trainer that's going to be there kicking my ass. He's big and he's expecting lots out of me. 'Bout time I gave it to him.

I finally feel like I'm ready.

More reasons to lose weight:

• To show the fatties in my life that I'm not kidding this time. I'm doing it. You can be fat. I don't want to anymore.

• To have some of that wild on top porn star sex!!!!

• I want to not worry about eating. I want to reach a level of comfort and WW will help with that. (ahem, not my first time around the old WW block)

• So I can snow ski with my girl in Banff, Canada when she whisks me away there. (Major hint dropage there! Sweetie, let me know if you need the phone number of the Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel. Oh hell, here: http://www.fairmont.com/banffsprings/)

• So my muscles that I've worked so hard on for the past year can show. I can lift some big girl plates at the gym...that's a 45 lb. plate on each side plus a couple of small ones!

• So that I can be proud of my character.

• To lessen the stress on my joints and the rest of the body

• So that I can buy some cute clothes

• So that I can wear my hair long and look sexy before I'm that strange woman on the park bench that's 80 years young with long, grey hair.

There. That about does it.

I'm ready and rockin' on go!

Day of the Dead

Or so I thought. I tried the talking to the ghost.

Problem: Where do you look?

I guess if they're around they'll just float into the right spot. It's the least they can do.

So here I am...talking to the ghost or lack thereof. Who knows. Could be either.

Fortunately, I have a dog and if someone happened to be looking in the window at least it wouldn't look like I was talking to well, nothing. Then, SHE walks to the other side of the room. She knew I wasn't talking to her. The complete lack of words like treat treat, ride, hungry and outside made that perfectly clear.

After a few minutes she stopped looking at me at all. She was giving me that odd sideways glance that you give the weird guy on the bus that smiles at you. (You wanna look. You know you do. But you're afraid that he'll start up a conversation with you the next time you make eye contact. Next thing you know you're dating the weird guy from the bus. Yes folks, I did (circa 1982) and it ended ugly with him crying at a Western Sizzler.)

You'd think since I was devoting my attention to it, it would materialize or something. Fling a book across the room. Blow a blustery gust of wind through the drapes. Slam the kitchen table against the floor a few times. Something.

Nada. Maybe I'm tryin' too hard.

Not A Mommie

I just spent the afternoon with a friend's little girl. Now I have a headache. She's so wonderful and so taxing and so everything all at the same time and she never stops talking!!!! Seriously, never.

The most precious thing she did was color me a picture. She hung it on the wall behind my desk at work. Then said, "You can just turn around anytime, look at this picture and know that I love you." See, right there. I would be one of those parents constantly in tears over sweet things like that. Buying her convertibles and high heels just because she asked for them.

She also asked me if I was a girly girl. Um, yeah....

What exactly do you mean?

Do you ALWAYS wear makeup?
Do you always dress up?
What do you wear when you're "playing?" (Hehehe...that depends on what Miss Linda wants to "play!")
Does Miss Linda live with you now?
Is she your friend like Miss Nikki was?
Why doesn't Miss Linda wear makeup?

(Miss Lynn starts wondering where she's going with all these questions....)

She goes on to tell me that sometimes she likes to be a tomboy. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I do not want to be in this conversation. I'm the only lesbian that this family knows and allow to be around their child! I can see her coming out to me at seven years old!

The problem is that although she's only seven...she's WAY smarter than me.

Change the subject. Fast. Find something girly to talk about. Anything.

Me: Do you like playing with Barbies?
Her: No, not anymore. I outgrew that. I don't like dolls anymore. Dolls are boring.

Me: Do you still like Disney princesses?
Her: Nah, I'd rather play out in the dirt with my brother.

Me: I think it's time to play Quiet As A Mouse. Gah, I'm lame!

Offering this 7 year old high heels may be our only hope if she starts wearing ball caps and bandanas.

How Does Fat FEEL?

I've been thinking about this lately because next year around this time, I'd like to not be. Change that...I will not be. I refuse to continue to be this way. Therefore, I'm making a list for posterity. So I can go back and say, "Ah yes, I remember now...."

As I spoke of in an earlier post, my friend Zammi is going in for a weight loss surgery. I need her. I need to be around people that are doing it. People who are doing the right things. Exercising. Eating right. Visibly losing weight. I feed off of their energy. Their drive. Their commitment. I fully intend to feed off of her. I'm hungry for being on a roll. I want the momentum. The way people will ask me how much I've lost. Tell me how pretty I am since I've moved down a size. I'm desperate for the attention after being invisible for so long.

Zammi's having surgery on the 7th of November. I think I'm finally ready. And yes, I realize that SHE should be the one getting ready and she is. But since I'm tagging along, I too need to be ready.

Ready to exercise. Check. Ready to eat less. Check. I'm slowly wheeling my carriage back upon the straight and narrow path of health.

Oh yeah, I was making a list, wasn't I?

How DOES fat feel?

• Tight
• Tired
• Full
• Yearning
• Sleepy
• Big
• Crowded
• Warm...sometimes hot
• Cuddly
• Wanting
• Soft

Nothing I'm gonna miss there.

Hot Legs

I am working on some beautiful legs. They will be lovely when I'm done with them in about a year. I work them out at the gym twice a week. Tuesday for squats and Saturdays for a general pumping workout.

Last Tuesday night, we squatted with the 55 pound bar. We did six sets of five reps with a moderate stance. I even asked for an extra set. Wasn't tired and apparently I was a bit cocky.

Today, I can barely move. Every time I have to get up, I'm planning it. What can I do this trip? Get a drink, pee, grab the faxes, check the back door, etc. Because GOD FORBID that I have to activate the quads one more time than absolutely necessary.

Either the girlfriend isn't sore or she's not as whiney as I am. Probably the latter, huh? I just sent her some dirty texts for her lunch hour. I may get to work some of that soreness out tonight! (wink wink)

Poorly Haunted

I'm wondering if my hauntings are even worthy to blog about. I think I have haunting envy. I want to be haunted like I read about in grammar school where things would go flying across the room, heads would spin, folks would speak in tongues.

I think I need a better ghost. This is probably my cousin Sheila. She was my best-cousin on my mom's side. We played together as kids and got in all sorts of mild trouble at my aunt's farm during the summer. Like the time that we SOOOO wanted to go swimming in the creek that ran beside my aunt's dairy farm. Any country folk see where this is going?

She forbade us to set foot in that creek. The summers were sweltering. There was NOTHING to do in Campbellsville, TN in the 70s besides walk the 1/4 mile to the store for an ice cream sandwich and look for pretty rocks in the driveway....both of which we had already done.

One day my aunt Ruth had to go to "town" aka Pulaski, TN. We had the time. We had the inclination.

We did it.

We waded.

All the way up to our thighs so that we wouldn't get our shorts wet and could get away with it. Except our shorts did get wet. Don't they always?

It was so peaceful wading in the pond watching the cows do the same upstream.

Filthy, I think, is the word she used when she returned. WTF?

Goal 1: Reward 1

This week my goal is to hit the dreadmill three times for at least 20 minutes. I know I can do that, so of course I've already planned my first reward.

Rub me all night long! Or at least for the hour I'm paying for. K?

I will have earned it by Saturday and since rewards are best utilized when administered quickly, I'm getting rubbed right away!

Update: Two sessions on the treadmill down, one to go. Both were for 30 minutes and I HATED. EVERY. MINUTE. OF. IT. It's gotta get easier!

Oddities Day 3

Last night upon returning from the gym, Linda and I walk in to find the TV on. The same TV that I had turned off when I left.

Anybody know a good exorcist?

Either the ghostie skipped Monday's fun or I missed it. Probably the latter.

Nevermind about the mean girls

I was going to post this morning about the mean girls and then I got to thinkin'. Am I not the one usually telling folks to look at the opposite view? So I'm gonna.

Mean girls grow up to be mean women. 'Nuff said. Of course, I just came to that realization yesterday. I'm a little slow on the uptake somtimes.

On the other hand, yesterday I got my girlfriend back. Not my GIRLFRIEND, but my girlfriend, Zammi. Not that I had really lost her, but I kinda hadn't been keeping up with her like we once did. Back when we were Weight Watcher buddies.

See, several years ago I was floundering on Weight Watchers. I went on the boards and asked for a buddy. I think I came away with 8 women who wanted me. Yeah, they WANTED me. Wanted to be my buddy. Wanted to email and chat and support. They were all gung ho in the beginning. After about a month, Zammi was left. Years later, she's still there. She's one of those people who doesn't drift away too far.

We've kept in touch, although both of us have been floundering with our weight loss. Except she's decided to have a weight loss surgery. She's going through the initial phases and is almost ready for THE DEAL.

Yesterday, I had a hard day. I realized that I'm fat and not changing anything. I'm not getting in any cardio. Not eating right enough. Eventually, I'll be old and fat. I don't want that. I dont' want to watch her get skinny and not be along for the ride.

So I emailed her. Asked her to be mine again. She said YES!!!! I had tears in my eyes I was so happy.

Yesterday was such a great day. I got my girlfriend back!

I see you

Time to delurk. Wasn't Friday "Official Delurking Day?"

Come on. Delurk.

Say something! Anything....

I know you're there. I can see you on the sitemeter. Yeah, I'm nosy like that.

Light my fire...or unlight it

Odd things are happening to me again. Not way odd...just a tad odd.

On Saturday, I was cleaning house and had my new yummy candles lit to make things smell all nice like for when my girl got home. As I was on my way to the shower to get cleaned up, I blew them out. When I got out of the shower, two of them were relit. Yeah, I know. Odd.

It reminded me of a time during my college years when strange things started happening. Same strange things. Candles lighting and going out on their own.

On Sunday, I lit the same ones. Later, two of them were out.

Fuckity fuck. What does it all mean? Why can't the ghosties write me notes. I'm way too simple minded for all of this hinting!

Add 3 oz. of almonds per day....

No, not biscotti. Not roasted. Not dipped. Not encased in snickers love. Just raw.


"Researchers at the City of Hope Medical Center (Duarte, California) studied two groups of overweight people, both on medically supervised low-calorie liquid diets. One group added 3 ounces of almonds to their daily diet, while the other group added the same amount of calories from complex carbs like popcorn and Triscuit crackers. Both groups ate the same number of calories daily, about 1,000. During the 24-week study, the almond-eating group lost more weight even though they ate the same number of calories as the carb group. Same calories, different results."

From: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0KGB/is_10_5/ai_n8694278

Think about tomorrow

From AOL:
It's a pain to plan meals ahead of time. And you already know all about serving sizes, right? Three ounces of protein, half-cup of vegetables, etc. Remember, if you eat only what you feel like eating, you won't lose weight. Planning is a crucial skill for tomorrow, when your motivation to stick to your diet isn't as high as it is today.

Poison

"All things are poison and nothing is without poison, only the dose permits something not to be poisonous." ~Paracelsus

Too much food.
Too much TV.
Too much alcohol.
Too much, too much.